Lessons from a coke can

A few weeks ago, Max brought home a can of coca cola from school that someone had brought as a birthday treat. He knew he shouldn't drink it, as evidenced by the fact that he didn't drink it at school like the rest of the kids, but brought it home. He asked me if he could drink it. I asked him what he had learned about the word of wisdom and what heavenly Father wanted him to do, and he replied that he knew he shouldn't drink it. So he put the coke can in his room. A few minutes later he came and asked me again if he should drink it. Then he asked Trevor the same thing. I think he probably re-decided the question 10 times, but as long as he was looking at the coke can, he was still tempted. So finally, we talked to him about just removing the temptation so he wouldn't worry about it anymore. I promised him a can of rootbeer in trade and he finally worked up the courage to dump the coke down the sink. After that--no problem, of course. So how does this apply to me?

well, I've been really stressed about money this week. Just seeing how hard it is to pay our bills, etc. and then I get to thinking that I need to go back to work after all. My mind starts racing and I think over and over again about how we need the money, but what will we be giving up as a family? Will we really get ahead, or will we just decide that now we can afford more lessons for kids, etc. and get ourselves into a crazy schedule, etc. again. But we really need the money...you see the problem? Well, last night we were discussing the issue, and Trevor said the store needs more salespeople, so maybe I could do that. Well, this actually seems like a reasonable idea. He also suggests that he could work more in the evenings at a second job or something. But I don't really want that, either, because after a long day with the kids, the last thing I want is an evening without any support either. So after thinking this all over and over and over, I mentioned it to a friend this morning on the phone, and she shared with me that in her family, she had finally found peace on the same issue by deciding the question once and for all, and then trusting that answer. She stays home, knowing it is better for her family, but also knowing they will struggle financially. So, the question is...by questioning our previous answers to prayers on this subject, am I just continuing to stare at the coke can? Or, is it legitimate to re-visit the subject because we truly do have a financial need? Probably both--depending on your point of view. I think my family, especially my dad, would just tell me to go ahead and teach again or take the job...because it's true that in a practical sense, you just have to make enough money to live on. But, the whisperings of the spirit have been telling me to just trust that it will work out, and stay at home to teach and nurture the kids, and help make a Christ-centered home, instead of a stressed-out, too busy home. And the testimonies of several of my friends reinforce those feelings. So what to do? I want to trust...but how do I dump out the proverbial coke can? Especially wanting to be financially responsible...

Well, those are my musings this morning. More questions than answers, probably.