Insurance etc.

We're trying to figure out what to do about our health insurance. It turns out that our fears were confirmed, and Mozingo does not subsidize coverage for myself and the kids, which means that our total health coverage bill is over $700 per month. That really cuts into our paycheck, and makes it so that we are actually taking home quite a bit less than we had in Illinois, and with a higher mortgage and the loss of my income...well anyway, we've got to make some changes. I'm looking into other insurance options to see if we can save some money that way. Trevor loves his job, but he is looking into some other job options because we just aren't making it.
We are supposed to get a raise sometime this month, and maybe that will help, but I doubt it will be enough. I've contacted some band directors about taking students, but no results yet. The music classes with Eureka Parks won't start until this summer. Honestly, we're struggling. It makes me question what we thought were pretty clear answers to our prayers about the decison to come here. We felt so good about it, but now things are worse than they were in Illinois. I just don't know what to do. There are so many things we like about living here--and it's nice that Trevor does enjoy his job, but it's just so hard to make ends meet. We asked Mozingo when we were hired about whether health insurance was covered for the family, and they said yes, but apparently there was some misunderstanding -- we understood from their response that family coverage was also subsidized. Trevor is supposed to have an evaluation with them soon, and I guess he can ask them about it then, but I don't think that will change much about the insurance. A raise will help, but I think we need a BIG raise, and I don't think that will be coming for awhile. I think we are just destined to be poor.
The worst part is that I thought I had felt a really strong spiritual confirmation this past month that I should stay home with the kids, and not go back to working as much as I was before. But now I"m questioning that, too. I just don't know what the Lord wants us to do. We need to make enough money to cover our cost of living and pay our debts--and the prophet keeps saying we need to get out of debt. How can we do that while still keeping the commandment for mothers to stay at home and nurture their children? But yet, when I was working before, we were really still just keeping out heads above water--not really able to make many extra debt payments or save very much. It's all so frustrating!
Well, I"m going to the temple tonight--and I'll pray about it there.
Trevor is going out of town this weekend and next weekend. This weekend there is a civil war ball in Chicago, and next weekend he is going with the elders quorum to help rebuild members' homes in New Orleans after the devastation of the hurricane. It's a good service project, and it will be nice for him to go with the other elders.
I don't ever like having him gone on the weekends but I'm glad he can do this. The civil war band is another story...
I guess I've done enough venting for the day. Maybe if I get my tears out of the way in the morning, I can have smiles for the kids for the rest of the day.